


Morning Surprise

by Basmathgirl



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Body Swap, Bodyswap, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2020-12-17 12:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basmathgirl/pseuds/Basmathgirl
Summary: What's a little body swap between friends?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** if I get these characters for Christmas, they become officially mine!  
**A/N:** written for [hc_bingo](http://hc-bingo.livejournal.com) and first posted on [tumblr](https://basmathgirl.tumblr.com/post/188382323569/not-sure-if-you-take-requests-but-would-you) for a kind Anon.

The first thing he noticed was a loud scream, closely followed by, “Doctor!” 

It tore through his brain as he fought to become fully awake. Grabbing hold of the top sheet covering him, he threw it aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed to clamber out. That was the precise moment he noticed the strange legs in his bed. 

His eyes stared at the long, feminine legs adorning his bottom sheet. What the…? It took a few nanoseconds to mentally switch from “who is in my bed?” to “these legs are attached to me!”

Confusion warred with horror to be the uppermost emotion in his head, but curiosity eventually won, and he hastily stood to find out how much of the rest of him was now female. Instantly, he lost balance and had to grab the bedpost to steady himself. Okay, that was new, he noted. What else had changed. Apart from the change in height and the frontal appendages throwing off his centre of gravity, that is.

Holding up his hands meant that he was met with smooth, non-hairy skin. That wasn’t the only weird thing. His fingers were shorter, and the nails adorned with a vivid purple nail varnish. Very tasteful and also quite familiar. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say they belonged to Donna. 

‘Donna,’ he suddenly thought, and snapped his head to look in the mirror hanging on his wardrobe. The large frightened eyes of Donna Noble gazed back at him rather than his usual reflection. 

A wail of grief rose up from his throat but somebody else beat him to it. From afar, he heard his voice cry out in mental pain. That meant that he probably sounded like her in return. Well, he wouldn’t know until he tried, so he opened his mouth. “Donna! Are you me?”

“No, I’m the Pope,” a snarky voice replied from somewhere close outside his bedroom door. “Of course I’m you, you idiot! Who else would I be in this stupid scenario?”

“It isn’t necessarily stupid,” he tried to appease her. “This is a fantastic learning opportunity.” 

It was as if he’d released the Furies, so strong was the whirlwind that suddenly appeared in his room. Still just as angry in my body, he noted when Donna turned out to be the epicentre. 

“Learning? Learning! I’ll give you learning, you long streak of…,” she began to rage.

So he deliberately and coyly batted his eyelashes at her. “That’s no way to talk to a lady.”

For a split second he thought she might laugh. Alas, she didn’t. “Just because you’ve hijacked my body doesn’t mean I won’t wallop you one,” she threatened instead.

Oh, she really wasn’t going to thump him. Yet. “Nevertheless, a gentleman does not hit a woman.” 

“A gentleman would have to actually find a real woman first,” she sneered. 

How could she think he wasn’t real? This would need drastic measures, he decided, so he grasped his hands to his chest. “I assure you these are very real.” 

“Get your filthy hands off my breasts!” she yelled loudly. “I knew it! I knew you’ve been looking for a way to touch me up.”

Looking down at himself, he had to partially agree; and slowly lowered his erroneous hands. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to… you know. If it’s any consolation, please feel free to explore my body in a similar way.”

“No thanks. I’d rather not,” she blustered as a crimson blush spread across her cheeks.

“Honestly, in all fairness, you should.” 

“Let’s cross that bridge when we have to.” She then blew out her cheeks in embarrassment. “Well, this is awkward. Any idea what's happened?”

“We’ve swapped bodies.” 

“No kidding, Sherlock. I’d have never guessed if I hadn’t been here for this bit,” she sarcastically answered. “At least we were both wearing pyjamas when it happened. Good job we weren’t in the bath or something.” 

“B..b..bath,” he stammered, suddenly struck by the mental image. “Yes, very fortunate.” He soon found that rubbing your neck for comfort when there’s a whole load of hair in the way is nowhere near as satisfying. 

On the other hand, the hair was deliciously ginger and for several moments he got completely caught up on that idea. Combing his fingers through his newly acquired long ginger locks was a newfound pleasure. 

It was evidently obvious to all and sundry because Donna suddenly asked him, “Do you want me to leave you alone with my hair for a moment? At least I know you can only touch it with a brush rather than some kinky part of your body, I suppose.” 

His fingers immediately stopped their journey of homage, and he guiltily flushed. “No, I was…” He delicately coughed. “Anyway, perhaps we should have some breakfast. Give the old brain some food for thoughts.” 

“And prolong the need to get dressed yet,” she knowingly added, bringing up her hands to grasp her middle. “You could also do with a few more pounds here.” 

“Don’t even _think_ of ruining my sleek lines,” he huffed in warning. “Although, to be fair, my metabolism allows me to eat what I want without putting on weight.” 

“Technically it’s _my_ metabolism now,” she pointed out as they began walking towards the kitchen. “Which means that I get the benefit of all that.” 

“You mean I’ve got to _diet_?” he gasped. “How shaming. Can I skip all the healthy option stuff you normally have for breakfast? I fancy something meaty.” 

It was on the tip of Donna’s tongue to make a joke about what type of meat her body would crave but felt it was best not to make a sex reference in the strange circumstances. Even though they’d reached the kitchen and were bustling about collecting breakfast items; well away from the risky bedroom. Instead, she countered the remark with, “Funny you should say that, because I fancy some fruit.” She then deliberately ran her tongue along her lips before adding, “Pears in particular.” 

His wheeze of horror was totally worth it. “Donna, I beg you, _please_ don’t eat pears. That sort of taste lingers for months and I detest them.”

“Do you?” she feigned ignorance. “Alright then, I’ll avoid them. For now. Just treat my body with some respect while you’ve got it. This _is_ a temporary share rather than a weekly rental, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” he quietly confessed. “How, or why this happened to us is beyond me at the moment. I’ll need your help with sorting this out because my normal brain functions have gone AWOL for some reason, and I’m left with this inferior set of cognitive skills.” Noticing the glare that was now bombarding him, he tactfully continued, “No offence meant and all that.”

“None taken,” she stiffly answered. “As if I would. But Doctor, if you can’t figure this out, who will?” 

“Well, you,” he cautiously replied. 

“Me?!” She was stunned for some moments. “We’re doomed,” she mumbled into her tea mug.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** tentacles  
**A/N:** I was asked for more. Sorry.

They shared a worried look. 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she wondered. 

He shrugged. “Depends what you are thinking about,” he tried to nonchalantly answer. 

So she narrowed her eyes and grimaced. “Good, because I was considering how best to tell you that we need to give you a bikini wax.”

“What!” he squeaked. 

Pleased with his frightened reaction, she amended her reply to, “It’s alright, I wasn’t thinking that at all. Had you going for a moment though, didn’t I?” 

“Thanks,” he huffed, and defiantly drank the last of his tea. “Nice to know we’re on the same page. It’ll be fun watching you trying to shave my face.” 

“I might start growing a beard.”

“What! Oh no, you don’t get off so easily. There’s a careful routine I keep to in order to look as good as I do.”

“Perhaps it’s time for a change of image? You know, experiment with a new look. Shake things up a bit. I hear polyester tracksuits are very ‘in’ this season.” 

“Don’t you dare,” he whined. “Pinstripes are my item of choice for a very good reason.” 

Carefully placing her empty mug down onto the kitchen table, she leant forward to whisper, “There’s no little girly around here to fangirl over you anymore. No one to impress at all. You’re free to dress exactly how you like without the need for tight fitting clothing.” Ignoring his defensive splutter, she continued, “And as the resident official keeper of the body, I’m going to give it a well-earned break from the usual confines.”

“You make it sound like a prison,” he grumbled. “In that case, if you’re allowed to do that then I shall do the exact opposite for your body and get rid of the ridiculous layers.”

“What do you mean: layers?”

“I mean, Donna Noble, that you wrap your body up in long layers of clothing in a bold attempt to hide it from view and all possible judgement.” He interrupted her possible retort by stating, “You know it’s true. Probably thanks to your mother, you are unwilling to expose your body.”

“Got no bloody choice in it now, do I,” she muttered in disgust. 

“None at all,” he agreed; far too brightly for her sensitivities. “In fact, I have a suggestion that you might not like.” 

“Go on then, wow me with this idea of yours.” 

“We are both rather hesitant about dealing with our bodily needs…”

“You can say that again.” 

Ignoring her retort, he continued, “Yet we will inevitably have to face touching intimate places on each other.”

“You’d better not be suggesting that we escort each other to the bathroom. Although it _could_ work,” she was surprised to hear herself reason out.

“Or,” he said, pausing for dramatic effect, “we could brazen it out completely.” 

“In what way?” she suspiciously asked. “And why do I feel as though I’m going to hate this?” 

“Neither of us is happy about this,” he presumed, and ignored her snort of disbelief. “Which is why I’m suggesting that we get the worst of it over right away and… erm…”

“And what? Spit it out.”

Get it over with, he told himself, so he quickly blurted, “We carry out our morning ablutions by showering together.” 

She stared; her mouth set in a grim line; calculating the exact moment it would be possible to thump the living daylights out of him. “Shower. Together. You have got to be kidding me! Either that or you’ve lost your marbles.” 

“No, I seem to have lost my body.” 

“You and me both, sunshine!” she raged. “Are you saying this so that I’ll agree to the lesser thing of going to the toilet together? Because your ladder doesn’t go all the way to your loft.”

“Pardon?” he responded in confusion. 

“You are clearly insane,” she softly explained.

“Ah, I’d wondered why we were suddenly discussing DIY supplies,” he commented. “Back to the point, we have to get over this emotional stumbling block of literally handling a different body. And I understand your opposition to all this, but we have to be practical.” 

“Look, I’ve had to handle a male body before now,” she began, “and don’t give me the pretend shocked treatment. You can’t escape it at my age, especially when you have sick relatives who are bedridden or have years of babysitting practice under your belt. What I am concerned about is your response to getting free reign to explore and experiment on my body. If you’re willing to lick foreign things to find out what they are, gawd knows what you could do to find out how a female body is different.” 

“Donna,” he gently stressed, reaching out to take her hand, “I will take the utmost care of your body, and it might help you to know that Time Lords aren’t as gender stable as you think.” 

Should he mention regeneration in the circumstances? Shame he absolutely hated discussing the topic unless death was imminent, because this would have been an excellent time to bring up the possibility of changing gender. With a shake of his head, he went back to observing Donna’s reaction. 

“That makes sense,” she commented. “Explains a lot, now that I come to think about it. But it is still my body you’ve got possession of there, mate.”

“And as your mate, I will have every respect for it,” he stated, giving her hand a squeeze. “A friend mate rather than a biological mate-mate, obviously,” he airily corrected, “because we said we were avoiding all that.” 

“We did,” she agreed with a nod.

“So how do you want us to do this? We could wash our normal bodies, wear eye masks during the shower to stop us seeing anything or bite the bullet and do a double reveal?” he asked. 

“We could just close our eyes as we wash each other. I think that’s a good enough place to start,” she decided, “and play it by ear from there.”

~~~

All in all, she couldn’t help being amazed at how well he was coping with the body swap. Anyone who glanced at the Doctor would think he was pleased with the new experience. Well, he was finally ginger, so there was that to take into consideration. In fact, he was having great fun stroking her hair. Blatantly so. Hopefully he wouldn’t continue doing so once they changed back because that sort of thing becomes quickly irritating. 

Please let us change back soon, she silently begged any deity that might have been listening to her thoughts. Before she had to deal with the suspiciously large bulge he normally had in his trousers. Not that she tended to look, of course, but some things just present themselves to be observed, and his bulge practically sat up and begged for attention. 

No, she hadn’t been thinking about it much, but for all she knew it could be a tentacle attached to his body. Perhaps he had several tentacles? He could have a whole squid-like creature swimming around his lower torso, for all she knew. As an alien, anything was possible. It would certainly explain why he was so private about his body; in ways that were completely different to how she guarded her own. 

For someone who was about to completely lose his privacy, he was rather chipper, she noted. There had been no desperate waving of hands before readying himself to explain his Time Lord differences because everything was blamed on them. 

Okay, probably no tentacles. Just your normal male appendages then. The troublesome type. Often used for thinking through, where most men are concerned. Lots and lots of trouble, basically. Unless he had something like an elephant’s trunk down there? Could be that. Except such a thing would be too useful to use and would have made an appearance by now. Nothing had sneakily nicked the biscuits off the table during their afternoon tea sessions, so that ruled out the trunk theory. Maybe he just had a massive…

“What are you doing?” he suddenly interrupted her train of thought. 

Searching desperately for an answer, she said, “I was just thinking, like you do. Nothing else.” 

“No evil plan to overthrow the world?” he teased. 

“No, just worrying about you and what you might have to reveal,” she admitted. 

“Ah,” he murmured, and blushed. “The big reveal, where the inevitable question of what else I’ve got two of gets answered.” 

“Anything you need to prepare me for?” she nonchalantly queried. 

“Nah! For a woman with your experience it should be a doddle.” 

Such a remark demanded a playful slap, but she sensed there was something he wasn’t telling her as she made light contact with his arm. “That’d better not be a backhanded insult,” she warned. 

A true grin of amusement lit up his features. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Are you ready to cross the next big divide?” 

“Bring it on.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** confession in desperate situation

They had walked down the corridor towards the bedrooms together, holding hands for comfort as they went. It was daunting, facing this new unknown, but at least they had each other to experience it. No one else need ever find out about this episode in their lives, if things went well.

Before they could consider finding a solution to their predicament, they had to face up to the challenge of their new bodies first. If they couldn’t cope with this, then they were doomed to fail at coping at all. 

“Right,” the Doctor stated when they reached the bedroom doors. “We switch rooms, pick out some fresh clothing and then meet back here. Any questions?”

“Yes. Can we avoid this bit altogether?” she wondered.

“Donna, we agreed,” he sighed in exasperation. “We _have_ to face using these new bodies and cannot progress further until we do. For all we know this might take days or weeks to get back to normal. And I don’t know about you, but even I cannot hold bodily functions off for that long.” 

“My body does tend to need to use the loo several times a day, especially first thing in the morning,” she allowed. “Okay. Grab clothing, meet back here.” 

He then placed his hands on her upper arms. “It’ll be alright, I promise. We’ll get through this together. If mutual embarrassment doesn’t kill us off first.”

That raised a smile, he was pleased to note. Bravado was working after all. 

“Are you bringing the face masks, or am I?” she teased. 

“You, young lady, are treading on eggshells,” he pretended to gripe in return. “Just you remember a towel and some decent underwear. Speaking of which, do you have a preference that you want me to use?”

“Erm…” The horror of this situation would get to her again if she allowed herself to think too much. “I’ll let you choose this time. Pick something pretty.”

Acknowledging that with a nod, he added, “Likewise for me, but make it dashingly manly.” 

“Will I discover that you have a stash of pink frilly underwear hidden away?” she couldn’t resist asking.

“No,” he near squeaked. “As I said, it should all be manly colours.”

“You, manly? Too right,” she mocked. “Can’t be gender unstable and all whatsername about the colour of your boxer shorts. Plus, it’s the fashion these days to have novelty ones.”

“It is? Oh. Good,” he murmured in relief. “Although Captain Jack did once buy me some with a large banana on the front panel.”

The sound of this Captain Jack got better every day. “Trying to say something, was he?” She arched a knowing eyebrow.

“Might have been,” he admitted. “Now go and get my pinstripe suit for my body to wear, please. No tracksuits and no jogging bottoms.” 

“You spoil all my fun,” she grumbled as she disappeared into his normal bedroom.

Choosing to ignore her mocking statement, he opened the door and entered Donna’s bedroom. Now where should he start? Heading for the chest of drawers, he pulled open the top drawer and peered inside; steeling himself to encounter previously forbidden fruit.

As he had expected, the drawer was neatly sectioned off into bras, knickers and socks; of varying colours and patterns. Perhaps it was best if he stayed traditional first time, he decided, and grabbed hold of a matching white ensemble. That should do, should he be in an accident and need to go to hospital. For now, he also decided to ignore the reasons why he would need to visit a hospital whilst in Donna’s body. Mainly because Donn could be extremely inventive when she tried, and he was sure he’d never be able to guess. One disaster scenario at a time was enough to cope with, let alone any future ones. 

Closing the drawer again, his attention turned to the wardrobe where all her main clothing was hung up. My, the choice was overwhelming. She hadn’t been kidding when she’d said she’d packed for every type of weather. Since they would remain firmly inside the TARDIS for the next day or so, he opted for something that she normally wore when they were relaxing and having a restful day doing very little. What he thought of as her ‘telly watching gear’. 

In a short amount of time, he had collected together outer and under wear, plus drying accessories, and anything else that had occurred to him. After all, this would be a steep learning curve where he was bound to make plenty of mistakes. And knowing Donna, she would point every single one of them out for him. It was part of her charm.

Back in the corridor, it was time to let the TARDIS show her usual level of concern for Donna’s well-being. Not all companions gained the same level of respect. “Come on, Old Girl. Provide us with a bathroom that will provide all of Donna’s needs right now.” Remembering when he’d last been told off, he hastily added, “Please.”

The TARDIS dutifully supplied a brand-new bathroom. The door clicked ajar just as Donna reappeared by his side. 

“Wow! That’s amazing,” she gasped. “If I didn’t already, I could get to adore your ship.”

The TARDIS blew warm air over them as they stepped through the new door, to show her approval. Inside was majestic, full of brightly lit mirrors, an area to hang your clothing, places to sit, a large walk-in shower and a huge bathtub big enough for two.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“Better than a posh hotel. More magnificent than a tart’s parlour,” Donna complimented. “This is seriously good. In fact, I could end up wanting to live here.”

Now brimming with newfound confidence, he offered, “Bath or shower?”

“I think the shower might be easier to cope with, for now. The bath is a more advanced level of intimacy. At least we could avoid touching each other in that shower. I mean, look at it. it’s huge!”

Won’t be the only thing you’ll think is huge in a moment, if we’re not careful, he noted to himself. “We’d better start getting undressed then.”

Her eyebrows shot upwards to her hairline. “What, in front of you?”

“I’m going to have to see my naked body,” he reasoned. “It’s inevitable.”

“It’s not your naked body that I’m worrying about,” she huffed. 

“You weren’t serious about the masks, were you? Surely not. Although I can start the shower going if you like. That way there should be plenty of steam to obscure things before we get in,” he offered; and bounced across the tiled floor to do just that.

Immediately, the air filled with moisture that would ultimately fog up the bathroom. “But would it be foggy enough,” she worried. Getting see him in all his glory was bad enough as it was without taking into consideration how he would react to seeing her naked. 

What if he found it all arousing? What if he didn't? Either option could be extremely shaming. “I don’t think I can do this,” she admitted.

The Doctor returned to her side, turning her body to face him, and he gently placed his hand on her shoulders. “Come here,” he whispered; so she lowered her forehead to touch his, just like he would have done if he were still taller. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you. You know that. The Donna Noble I travel with would see this as just another challenge but if this really does freak you out, we can leave it for now. Instead,” he continued, placing her fingers on his pyjama top buttons, “I’m going to suggest that we undress our usual bodies, keeping close eye contact while we do, to avoid any unwanted straying.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, glad that he understood her plight.

“And don’t forget, this means that you are the first companion I have chosen to show my body to. I’ve kept all this closely guarded secret for decades.”

That made her smile. “You daft prawn. I hadn’t even asked.” 

“That’s the beauty of this situation; I can trust you to keep my secrets.”

“Are those your alien secrets or the more juicy ones?” she cheekily wondered.

“Ah, that’d be telling,” he whispered and then playfully waggled his eyebrows. “On a count of three?”

Taking in a deep breath, she answered, “Three.” 

They were near silent as they slowly undid buttons, near dreading the end moment, after pushing off jackets and shrugging off pyjama trousers. To stop her worrying about him possibly looking, he instantly pulled her into an embrace. 

“You’d better not be getting a quick jolly out of this,” she muttered into his ear.

“Wouldn’t think of it,” he assured her. “Although you’d soon know if you… I mean me.. did. How about I let you feel my thoughts too? Like on the Oodsphere.”

Her head lifted to gaze directly into his eyes. “You can still do that?”

“We can give it a go. Place your hands on my face just in case we need the added oomph.”

“Very scientific, that,” she tried to grumble, but she complied so that both of them had risen their hands. 

Moments later she was aware of being able to look back at him like she normally would. 

“Has it worked?” he wondered.

“Yes. How long will it last?”

“As long as we stay in bodily contact. I think.”

“Think?!”

“Well… It’s still a learning curve, Donna.” 

“As long as it doesn’t creep into a perv alert, I’ll let you off this time. Now we have to face washing ourselves.” She glanced towards the shower, not wanting to leave the safety of their embrace. At least she now had the evidence that her body was nice warm and soft to cuddle up to, she supposed.

“You’ve always been wonderfully cuddly,” he replied to the unspoken thought.

“Oi! Stop doing that,” she chided. “But thanks for the compliment.”

“One of the problems of being a touch telepath,” he noted. Before she could comment, he continued, “And now I know why you said I’d give you a papercut.”

“I only said that to stop Martha feeling left out or getting jealous. You know that. In fact, I think you give wonderful hugs.”

The glow of love he received from her body told him not to doubt her words at all. But their relationship didn’t rely on spouting mush. It didn’t need that sort of thing for them to support each other.

“Did you want us to wash our normal bodies or try out cleaning our new ones?” he asked her.

“I’m not sure.”

“Let’s play it by ear then,” he suggested, and guided them into the shower to stand under the warm spray. 

“I take it that you’ll want to wash your new ginger hair yourself,” she assumed as the water plastered his long head of hair against his scalp.

His grin said it all if she hadn’t felt his thrill. “Can I?”

“Yeah. Go on. I’ll help if you need me to.” 

The mutual process of lathering up her ginger locks was a nice distraction as Donna tried to ignore the experience of suddenly having a wet male body to explore. And she had to admit, he was doing really well not to experiment with her naked body in return. It must have been killing him to hold back on his curiosity so much. Yet, he was doing so, and it was all for her benefit. In some ways it was the most alien thing about him. 

Obviously, he caught a whiff of her thoughts, because he gave her hand a comforting squeeze. “I’m so glad I’m not like the other men you’ve known,” he proclaimed. “In fact, I think it’s best you do this bit.”

‘This bit’ meant him moving to lift her hands to land on her breasts, having placed some shower gel on one of them as a clear encouragement to wash that part of her former body. 

The words “I bloody love you” swelled up in her heart, and she gently began the usual process. Until he suddenly flinched.

“What? Is something the matter?” she asked, frowning with concern. “Did I hurt you?”

“No. It’s just that I’ve never had that reaction before,” he blustered. “New unexpected experience.”

“In a human body,” she finished, knowingly. “You’d better clean your bits, in that case.” Her eyes flitted downwards in meaning.

Rather hesitant at first, he reached out a hand to apply some fresh gel to his body’s lower torso. “Oh,” he gasped as his usual body responded to his touch. “That’s different.” 

“Could have something to do with me being in here,” she suggested, trying to hide her embarrassed flush. 

“Are you in here? I’d never have known,” he joked as they both tried to stifle a groan. But seconds later his hand fell away, and he announced, “I think we ought to stop.”

“Too much for you?” she teased. Okay, perhaps she shouldn’t have done, but it was irresistible in the circumstances; especially as her own hands were on the skin of her lower torso too. 

“Donna,” he near-panted, “this is generally too much. I might end up…” He pushed himself away to lean against the wall tiles.

“End up what?” she queried. 

“Please don’t make me say it,” he begged, resting his chin on his new chest; with his eyes squeezed shut. “You were right, this was a bad idea. In my defence, I didn’t think the human element would break through my Time Lord training.”

“Sorry,” she contritely said.

“It isn’t your fault,” he insisted. His eyes opened to regard her. “Being so wonderfully human should never be apologised for, but I did not allow for the effect it would have upon me.” 

“Then again, you weren’t expecting a body swap,” she argued for him.

“Something to add to the list of possibilities now,” he mused. “Sorry. I have to admit that if we do not get out of here soon, I shall lose all propriety and demand we enter ‘friends with benefits’ territory.”

“That bad, eh?”

“You already know it is,” he retorted, since the evidence was very clear. “When you’re not used to having a libido, all this comes as a big shock.” 

“Then we’d better get out of this shower before we drown,” she stated; rather ambiguously, according to his troubled mind.


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor faithfully followed Donna out of the shower cubicle, wondering how she was faring with their body swap. So far, she had seemed to take it all in her stride whilst giving him tiny smiles of encouragement. And he’d done his very best not to even look in a mirror at his new form. 

“Are you enjoying living inside my body?” he asked as she sought three towels to wrap around him. Of course, they were pink; it stood to reason that that TARDIS would provide that colour to swathe his new body in. Very new-manly. 

The first and largest bath sheet went around his torso, covering him from the armpit down to the knees. The second towel was placed around his shoulders, with her patting his arms and shoulders as she moved, and the third one Donna used to enclose his hair in a makeshift twisted turban. It was a first for him to have hair long enough to do that with, although he’d seen plenty of women do it before. 

“Erm…” Having finished with seeing to his body, she finally tied a fourth towel around her waist before she turned and considered him properly. “It’s all so different to what I’m used to. Like, my head is the clearest it has ever been to think things through. There are no annoying hormones to invade my emotions. And that’s before I’ve even taken into consideration what having a male body means.” She then began to rub her hands over the towelling covering him, to help dry him off.

He blinked in confusion as he watched her movements but kept still. “The maleness shouldn’t make that big a difference.”

“And you claim you’ve been around humans for a long time,” she scoffed, resisting giving his bottom a fond touch. “We’re eternally interested in discovering how the opposite sex experiences sex.” When he still frowned from under his heavy wet turban, she added for clarity, “Orgasms. Apparently, they’re different for men and women.”

“Oh!” He immediately blushed and averted his eyes. It wouldn’t do to even look at where his normal evidence of maleness resided, despite it being rather hard to miss in the suddenly claustrophobic space. “I wouldn’t know, since I haven’t had the opportunity to find out until now.”

“Who said it’s going to happen now?” she demanded, causing his head to comically jerk towards her. “If you go prodding and… well… other things to my body, I’ll knock you into next week.”

“Touched a nerve, have I?” he risked querying, and gently threw a towel on to her head. “From what I’ve read, human males are always aroused by the sight of a naked female body. Does that mean you are hiding your reaction to this form?”

“Ah, but I’m not human anymore, and you’re not totally Time Lord. We’re both crossbreeds,” she argued, taking his cue to let him begin to dry his body in turn; feeling his hands skim over her face.

“Both the same,” he echoed as he began to towel dry her hair. “And the correct term is ‘hybrid’ for us higher species.”

Her eyes were large as she peeped out at him from under her wet fringe. “Are you finally lumping me in with you? Wow,” she gasped. “I never thought I’d see the day that would happen.”

“Stop it,” he snapped in exasperation and let go to step back a pace. “I only wondered why you haven’t got a… a _thingamajig_. A body response,” he explained, waving a hand in what he hoped was a meaningful gesture.

Trying to ignore his evident embarrassment, she put her hands on her hips and revelled in correcting him. “You mean an erection, Time boy; a stiffy; got wood, or whatever crude expression you want to use. Being you has made me less of a slave to my libido, I think.”

“Then we really are, for want of a better phrase, the same,” he reasoned. 

“Except you’ve got my feminine bits,” she felt the need to point out.

“Is that a problem?” he asked, dipping his head coyly. “I hope it isn’t.”

‘My, I look… I mean _**he**_ looks cute with that huge pink fluffy towel around him,’ she thought; and had to drag her attention back to where it had veered from. “Well, apart from actually wanting my body back, this whole situation keeps coming... returning to the topic of sex.”

“It doesn’t have to,” he argued, but he knew that it did. 

“Go on then,” she challenged him, “tell me what you want to do, this precise second.”

He visibly gulped. “I erm… Well… I want to…” The scents that filled the bathroom and the subtle hint of their burgeoning joint arousal swirled around his head. It was all incredibly erotic, and he was sure she was aware of it too. “I want to experiment,” he quietly admitted. “I’m curious too. There, you have it, out in the open where it could ruin everything.”

But it needn’t be that way, she realised, and raised her eyebrows quizzically to wonder, “Is that the only thing you’re curious about where women are concerned? A bit limited, you must admit.”

“No,” he hotly denied, “there are other aspects I’m interested to find out about.” When she continued to quietly stare at him, he continued, “Like why it takes you so long to get dressed; why you can never make a snap decision, or what the big deal about bras is.”

“That’s a lot of questions,” she noted to herself; and made an instant decision. “Okay, let’s deal with it one at a time,” she stated, glancing at his head still encased in a towel. “We can dry your hair together.”

“Together,” he happily trilled, already loving this idea. 

“Follow me.”

She took possessive hold of his hand and led them out of the bathroom into a warmed corridor. Minutes later she had him sitting down on a stool in front of the dressing table in her bedroom while she stood behind, rubbing as much moisture as possible out of his newly acquired long ginger locks with a fresh towel. His contented grin made her smile as they briefly locked eyes in their reflection in the mirror. What wouldn’t she have given to be able to do this with any previous male friend? 

“Have you been away on your holidays yet?” she cheekily asked him as she removed the sopping wet towel from his head.

“Pardon?” His brows furrowed. “What holidays?”

“It’s what hairdressers say when you have your hair done,” she informed him, reaching for a comb. “I’m trying to give you the full experience here. So, let’s try again. Have you been anywhere nice lately?”

“Oh yes,” he supplied, falling into the roleplay. “We went to a lovely place.”

“Was it just you or did someone else go?” she quizzed him, delicately combing through the tangles that had formed in his hair. 

“It was me and my….” He stopped and considered her in the mirror. “What should I call you in this game? Are you my partner?”

“Only if you’re gay or we’re in business together,” she replied. “You can say just friends, if you like.”

“But this feels more intimate,” he reasoned as his head was tugged sideways by her efforts. “There must be a better way of saying it.”

“What about your other half? That would do,” she suggested as she concentrated on one particularly stubborn tangle. 

“Okay.” He grinned with pleasure as the torture stopped and she put the comb down. “I went with my other half to this lovely place called Kyof.”

“Where’s that?” she played along, picking up a hairdryer. “Is it far?”

“A few centuries away,” he responded as she began to apply the dryer. “It was beautiful, with fine music, good food, and clean beaches.”

“I love a decent beach,” she commented as the hairdryer was expertly waved over his hair. 

“It’s even better when you have great company to share it with,” he schmoozed, and laughed with delight when she deliberately blew hot air over his face. “I enjoyed it a lot, doing mundane things for a change. Like this, here and now.”

Donna snorted her scorn. “Says Mr Ants-in-his-pants,” she mocked. “It must be killing you, not being out there, annoying some jumped up pipsqueak with homicidal tendencies.” 

“I can do normal,” he insisted in hurt tones. “And being _in_ you…” His face suddenly flushed bright red. “Or rather, being you, makes taking things easy interesting and different.”

“Waking up as a member of the opposite sex is certainly different,” she agreed. “You can’t knock it for being boring. Not in the slightest.” 

The Doctor watched her movements via her reflection and was impressed with what he saw. “Do you have to do all this every time you wash your hair?”

“Yes, every single time,” she confirmed. “Dry, straighten, style, go.”

“Can’t you just let it dry naturally a bit more?” he wondered. 

She stopped the dryer and looked straight into his eyes. “You saw how curly it went before we landed on the Oodsphere, and that was the refined version.” Turning on the dryer, she continued, “Back when I was a teenager, it was all corkscrews and knotted tangles. Thank god for modern hair products.”

He pouted. “I thought it looked rather lovely when we went to the Oodsphere. I liked the whole effect.” 

So she playfully gave his shoulder a shove. “Give over with the bedroom talk.”

The answering smirk touched her heart. 

“Well, this is a bedroom,” he noted, “so it is appropriate.”

“Maybe,” she allowed, “but normally ‘bedroom talk’ is reserved for under the covers.” When he still looked puzzled, she tacked on, “For sexy times.”

“Oh!” The blush was back in force; from his hairline, down passed his lower towel. “Good job we are avoiding all that,” he stated. He then briefly glanced at her before asking, “We are avoiding all that, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we are,” she firmly stated. “I don’t want anything embarrassing happening. Again. We’ve already done the shower stuff and that was enough.”

‘For now,’ he mentally added. Then almost gasped in horror when he saw the new device in her hands. “What is that?”

She clicked the ends of the thing together. “These, dear Doctor, are hair straighteners. For the straightening of hair, by applying heat.”

“A bit longwinded,” he critiqued her explanation.

“Must be the you in me coming out.” She hid her laugh as he pouted again. “Just need to put some styling product on your hair then we can do the next bit.”

He watched in quiet fascination for a minute while she took lengths of hair between the heated pads. “And you do this every day?”

With a nod, she confirmed, “Every day.”

“It’s a lot of work,” he commented. “I can now see where the time goes.”

“Just you wait until we get to the makeup,” she sort of threatened. “And the nails.”

“Are we doing all that too?” he squeaked.

“Of course,” she pronounced. “It’s all part of the experience.”

She had to give him his due, he was extremely patient and amenable while she finished styling his hair, and then began applying makeup to his face. It wasn’t often she got the chance to do so for another person or share the experience in any way that went beyond some bloke sitting in the corner, bored out of his tiny mind. 

But the Doctor was genuinely interested in the process. He engaged her with lots of questions that weren’t stupid or insipid, and sort to find the best result for her features. 

“Wow,” he softly exclaimed when she’d finished. He gazed intently at his image. “You’re beautiful.”

Eek! A compliment. She wished he wouldn’t do that; especially in the circumstances they were sharing. “And you’ve still got the gift of the gab, as though I’m some new, fascinating, alien species,” she mocked. “Did you want to do the nail varnish on your own or shall I help?”

After considering his hands for a while, turning them this way and that, he declared, “I might need some help with this one.”

“There you go,” she said as she stepped away and took in his new appearance some minutes later. “All done. I’ll help you get dressed once that’s dried and then I’d better see to me.”

His guilty expression cut her to the quick.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t even think about the problem you’d have with getting my body ready.”

“That’s alright,” she soothed. “Easily done, and it probably takes loads more effort to get mine up and running.”

“Nevertheless, it was selfish of me,” he insisted, standing up. “And I need to say: thank you, Donna.”

Accepting his hug was no hardship, and she gave him a fond squeeze back. “Anytime, Spaceman.” 

Her smile rapidly dropped when she realised that the next step was actually handling their newly acquired bodies to manoeuvre around during everyday tasks. Tasks that involved underwear.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** Sorry for the updating delay but I've been distracted by finishing a writing challenge, family socialising and being ill.

“The next thing we have to deal with is the bra,” Donna announced with more bravado than she felt, “since you admitted you’d been wondering about them. Hang on, and I’ll find something to demonstrate with.”

Now deeply curious, the Doctor watched as she lunged at her underwear drawer and started desperately seeking something in there. After a couple of moments, she held up a garment in celebration.

“Found it! This should prove my point,” she declared.

He eyed the bra with caution. “How exactly does it prove any point? It’s a bra. Just a bra.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, sunshine,” she huffed, bearing down on him with a steely gaze. “Men don’t appreciate the finer details of wearing these.”

“Couldn’t I go without for now? Let things hang naturally, as it were,” he wondered, not wanting to cross this bridge now that they’d got to it. “What harm could it do?”

“Harm?” she echoed in horror. “Harm! You do not let 36Ds loose on a daily basis unless you want to permanently damage yourself; especially if you end up having to run somewhere. Which, let’s face it, tends to be part of the central script with you.”

36D, he mentally repeated for future reference. “Not if we stay inside the TARDIS,” he weakly argued.

“And how long do you think you’ll be able to cope being cooped up inside here?” she wondered. “A week, a month, a year? We don’t know how long we’ve got to be like this, remember.”

Defeated, he nodded. “Okay, I’ll wear the bra. Just tell me what to do. But I preserve the right to choose the underpants you will put on.”

“Fair dos,” she agreed. It would save her from manhandling his bits for a while longer. Except there was one major problem. “Talking of that area, I need a wee. How come you haven’t wanted to yet?”

“Perhaps I’ve been allowed to maintain a vital part of my Gallifreyan physiology,” he reasoned. “Although saying that…” His expression turned pleading.

“Oh no, don’t tell me,” she gasped. “It’s time for all that business.”

“It would seem so,” he nervously replied, “so, how should we do this?”

“We can get through this if we are sensible about it. Knowing my body, if the thought’s there, we have a limited time to get you on the toilet, so we’ll deal with you first.” She held out a hand for him to take. “Come on, let’s get this over and done with. I suppose the first time will be worse.”

“Unless we suddenly develop diarrhoea,” he unwisely joked, and gained a stern glare for his troubles. “Sorry. Shouldn’t jinx us.” 

She led them to her bathroom and pushed him down onto the toilet seat, trying to be business-like about their situation. “While you pee, I’ll grab some knickers and you can put them on straight away.”

Well, sitting with a towel wrapped around his middle was a new experience for his morning ablutions but at least the embarrassment was shared by the pair of them. “Hello,” he greeted Donna when she reappeared. “All done.” His grin was wiped off his face when she applied some toilet paper. “What the…!” he squealed. “Are you always this rough with yourself?”

Her face was flushed red. “No. sorry. Been a while since I’ve done this for someone else. Well, me… you know what I mean.”

He did indeed. “We’ll soon get the hang of this. Honest we will.”

“Yeah, but it’s not as embarrassing for you as it is for me,” she hotly denied. 

“I assure you that I am having minimal fun here,” he consoled her as she made him stand to yank up the pair of knickers she’d acquired. 

“Really?” she questioned, quirking her eyebrow.

“Well, there’s natural curiosity, obviously,” he allowed, still grasping the towel around his upper torso, “but that doesn’t exceed my willingness to retain our friendship.”

Relief flooded her and she happily washed her hands. “Thanks. That makes this miles easier. Now let’s get this bra on you. Lean forward.”

“Why?” he asked as he did so. 

“Ideally, you fall into the bra they say, but you’ll learn other ways pretty quickly when practicalities demand it.” With a swift movement, she expertly clasped the bra closed against his back and then prompted him to pull the straps over his arms to sit on his shoulders. “There you go. One bra. How does it feel?”

Was he allowed to touch? Cautiously, he slightly adjusted the fall of a strap against his chest and wriggled his body. “Seems okay so far.”

“Good. Now me. If you would do the honours?” She then gazed at him expectantly.

“What? Oh yes,” he realised in a flourish, and positioned her in front of the toilet pan. “You stand there. We’ll lift the lid, to avoid any splashes and then do the biz. Are you ready?” 

With determination, she didn’t look down as her towel was removed and he took a firm but gentle grasp. Instead, she willed herself to keep looking straight into his eyes. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

There were a few seconds of absolutely nothing.

“You do have to actually pee, Donna,” he prompted. “I can do everything except that.”

Oh god, this was embarrassing. “I’ve never done this in front of someone else before,” she excused herself, as the flow finally began. “Have you?”

“Not knowingly,” he admitted. “This is a first for me too. Lots of firsts today.”

Okay, she knew he was being bright and cheery for her benefit, but her mortification made her keep her eyes tight shut while he finished up. It was the sound of the toilet flush that gave the cue to open her eyelids again; and she was relieved to see his nervous smile reflecting her own misgivings. 

“What do you say to that?” he asked.

“Underpants. I need some underpants,” she pointed out, “unless you prefer me to go commando.”

“Oh no, we can’t have that,” he decided. “Won’t be a tick.”

Watching him disappear in his quest for underwear, she took a deep breath and tried to ignore the way his body parts had reacted to a feminine touch; or should we say, a particular body part was showing itself up again. At least it wasn’t as bad as when they’d been in the shower, but this arousal stuff was ridiculous. 

She’d wondered what it’d be like as a man; obviously she had. But the actual reality of being in full view was almost unbearable. Fortunately, she was saved from her wandering thoughts by him brandishing a pair of y-fronts. 

“Here we are. One pair of pants,” he announced. A thought struck him. “Did you want to know what size they are? Since it would be fair to say after the bra information earlier.”

“No. That’s alright, thanks.” I’m already very aware of your size, she silently tacked on. 

“In that case, let’s finish getting dressed,” he proposed. “I’ll meet you in the console room.”

~~~

It didn’t take the Doctor very long to put on the outfit Donna had chosen for him, and he welcomed her wise decision to wear trainers with her outfits because the prospect of toddling around on high heels was something he’d gladly dodge at the best of times.

Looking in her floor-length mirror, he was pleased with the end result. Not too showy, practical and comfortable, and he liked the colours on her. Unable to resist the action, he stroked his fingers down her ginger hair whilst gazing at his image. Hmm. Given the choice, he wasn't completely against regenerating into a woman, should the opportunity ever arise. Twisting around to catch a glimpse from behind, yes, a female body certainly had its plus points. 

And that’s when his hands landed on the breasts. Should he? Was he allowed to explore the feel of this bodily part? 

Donna’s eyes peered back at him in the mirror, questioning his motives; and his hands quickly dropped away.

It wasn’t worth it to find out. Certainly not at this point in time. A glorious truce was held between them, where intimacies and secrets were precious commodities, and it would be totally stupid to jeopardise that. 

With one last look in the mirror, he turned to seek out his companion and suggest a trip of some sort. One that might provide a few answers.

~~~

She was waiting for him; leaning against the console in exactly the same way he normally posed himself. “I take it that you have a destination in mind,” she challenged him.

“Indeed, I do,” he confirmed, and stood next to her. “But I might need a bit of help.” When she tilted her head in confusion, he supplied, “With piloting the old girl. Just in case she objects to ‘you’ doing this alone.”

“You mean you’ve slightly forgotten how to do it,” she knowingly reasoned. “Go on then. Show me what to do.”

“Stand directly behind me,” he requested, “and lay your hands on mine. That way she’ll get the best of both of us.”

Doing exactly as he asked, she whispered into his ear, “Sounds like a common plan. We keep ending up like this.”

“The Doctor Donna. Just like the Ood called us.” He smirked at the new mental image of them linked together. 

“Some people might think you actually enjoy all this,” she teased. 

“I love piloting the TARDIS with you,” he deliberately misunderstood. “Another first for us.”

Letting any possible follow-up jibe slide for the time being, she enquired instead, “So where are we going? Or should I ask, where are we supposed to go?”

Grinning broadly, he supplied, “I thought a little trip to see my old friend Jack at Torchwood might be helpful.”

“Is this the Jack Martha mentioned?” she pondered, liking the sound of this trip already. 

“Yes. Why?” he suspiciously questioned. 

“No reason,” she cheerily insisted. “Except, I’m you. Will that cause problems since he, you know, had a... _thing_. A thing for you. Or is that over and done with?”

The Doctor’s eyes went wide. Would Jack aim for Donna as him, or would he switch interests and aim for him as Donna? 

“Oh dear. What _have_ I done?” he murmured in despair.


	6. Chapter 6

The TARDIS soon landed with a soft thump, having neatly bypassed all the Torchwood Hub’s alarms. 

When the Doctor remained standing nervously by the console, Donna chivvied him along by saying, “Come on then, dumbo. I presume you chose to visit this Jack friend of yours to work out how we swapped bodies. Now isn’t the time to go all wilting violet on me.”

His eyes suddenly blazed in anger. “That is not the case,” he hotly denied. “I am merely worrying about your safety.”

“Walking into a government office, full of desks, computers and printers,” she scorned, “yeah, I’m sure that’ll scare me half to death.”

“Well, the thing is,” he began, giving his neck a rub, “there’s more than just your normal office fare in there. Torchwood also deals with aliens.”

The words didn’t quite have the shock tactic he’d been aiming for.

“As if I’d expect anything else, where you and your mates are concerned. Tell me something I don’t know.”

So the Doctor stepped closer to whisper, “There’s something you need to know about Jack. He’s immortal.”

Again, her eyebrow quirked in exasperation. “That’s old news. Martha told me. Talking of which… will she be there too?”

“I erm…” He hesitated, having not even considered the possibility. “I have no idea.”

“Hang on a mo’. I want to write that in my diary,” she mocked. “The great Time Lord admitting his ignorance. Must be my bad influence.”

“Donna,” he whinged, dragging out the two syllables to their full potential. Except it didn’t have the normal affect in a female voice, so she easily ignored him. “Your influence is always good for me. All I ask is that you make sure you stay close by my side. Please. Jack can be a little overwhelming.”

“So I’ve heard,” she threw over her shoulder at him as they stepped out of the TARDIS. For a moment she stood still, taking in the scene before her. “Not quite what I was expecting,” she admitted as her eyes traced the extent of the green and white wall tiles that proclaimed it to be an old Victorian underground railway station. There was a faint smell of fish from somewhere. 

“Surely Martha mentioned this bit too?” he couldn’t help sarcastically wondering. It really grated on his nerves how eager she was to meet Jack and his team, for some unknown reason. 

“Well hello, Doctor!” a voice boomed down to them.

They both looked up and saw a man stood at the top of an open flight of ironwork steps; hastily adjusting his clothing, so his shirt was safely tucked away. 

The Doctor nodded meaningfully at Donna, so she quickly responded, “Hello Jack. Good to see you.”

Was it her or was there something really off about his aura? It made her want to protect her eyes by squinting, but she fought the compulsion. And she couldn’t blame it on how good-looking he was. Martha had certainly been right about that. 

Jack raced down to throw his arms around who he thought was the Doctor. “What’s going on? You feel different,” he questioned when Donna didn’t gleefully hug him back. “Have I upset you?” Something didn’t smell quite right either. He then respectfully took a step back to consider them both. What was wrong with the Doctor? And why did his new companion look so anxious? This needed some trademark Jack-ness to ease things along. “And hello to you,” he schmoozed in Donna’s body’s direction. “I’m Captain Jack Harkness. You must be the companion Martha spoke about.” 

“Shame Martha didn’t include a name in that description,” Donna bitterly commented as the Doctor dutifully shook Jack’s hand.

“I’m Donna. Donna Noble,” the Doctor took delight in saying. “And that’s the Doctor. We’re the Doctor and Donna Noble.”

“What are you playing at?” Donna hissed at him. “Are you trying to make us sound like a married couple again?”

The grin was determined to remain on the Doctor’s face for a while longer. “Oh, you know how it is,” he teased. 

“No, I don’t,” a confused Jack admitted. “Is there something I should know?”

“Just that we’re like one person,” the Doctor continued, waving a finger between him and Donna. “A tight-knit unit.”

“Yes, maybe, but not like that,” Donna counterargued, feeling as though any future link up with the handsome American in front of her was out of the question before she’d even had a chance to draw breath. Or even gained back her real body. “The married mistake keeps cropping up. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.”

Despite the mixed signals going on in front of him, Jack was beginning to feel as though he had a handle on this situation. “Especially if you take into account your scent,” he stated, turning to look Donna full in the eye. “You look like the Doctor, but you aren’t him.” 

She huffed a sigh of relief. “Thank God for that! I was worried I’d have to pretend to be him for all and sundry, but there’s no need to playact with you.”

“Okay.” Jack’s brain had a lot of catching up to do. “It’s a very good look on you, but who are you really?”

“I’m the real Donna,” she brightly confessed, “and this here is the Doctor sulking behind my hair.”

Jack wanted to laugh at the pout on the Doctor’s face. “Nice hair. Ginger suits you.”

“Jack!” the Doctor warned. “None of your hijinks, thank you very much.”

“What? I only said ‘hello’,” Jack complained. “Am I right in thinking that you swapped bodies and immediately thought to come see me?”

“No,” the Doctor quickly denied.

“Well, almost,” Donna agreed at the same time. “Oi! Keep your thoughts out of the gutter,” she then complained when Jack rubbed his hands together in glee. “Is this how you greet any friend with a massive problem? We’re not all sex fantasies fodder, sunshine!”

“I like her,” Jack commented to the Doctor. “Feisty!” 

“Nevertheless, Donna is correct,” the Doctor added his own annoyance, adding in one of Donna’s patented glares of death, and being quite pleased with the resultant contrite expression on Jack’s face. “We need help. Desperately.”

“Why? Kinda looks like a lot of fun, to me,” Jack tried to reason. “Just think of the… okay, I’ll help,” he hastily offered when Donna thumped him in the upper arm. “No need to get aggressive.”

“You’ll get even more than a punch if you carry on like that,” Donna threatened “Right in the crown jewels.”

Thinking better of another saucy retort, Jack schooled his face into looking concerned. It was better for everybody if he didn’t damage the goods. _His_ goods in particular. “Tell me what happened.”

“All of it?!” Donna squeaked.

“He merely wants to know the beginning part,” the Doctor calmly assured her. 

“Oh.” She visibly relaxed. “Good because… you know.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well I don’t,” Jack grumbled, “and it sounds like I should.” He immediately gained looks that would have killed him if he hadn’t been immortal. “Some facts, please,” he tried instead. 

“The truth is, we don’t know,” the Doctor reluctantly admitted. “We went to Kataa Ko Flo yesterday, to see some diamond waterfalls and woke up this morning in completely opposite bodies.”

“Hmm.” Jack thought for a moment. “Did you eat or drink anything while you were there? Touched anything odd? Or were cursed by any of the locals?”

“Not every indigenous person takes a dislike to me,” the Doctor griped. “We had a lovely time.”

“It’s true,” Donna agreed when Jack turned his attention onto her. “Nothing but beautiful landscapes, a gorgeous sunset then an amazing meteor shower. Couldn’t ask for anything finer. And then I ended up like this!” she ended on a bitter note.

The hurt look that flittered across the Doctor’s new face didn’t go unmissed by Jack, and he wondered exactly how romantic the trip had been for his old friend. It certainly sounded like the type of place you chose for a honeymoon or to impress a date. “You look wonderful,” he schmoozed, and was pleased to see a blush on the Doctor’s… erm, Donna’s cheeks. “Why don’t I arrange for us to have some tea or coffee while we think this through? You can see our operation down here and meet my team.”

“That is exactly the answer I was hoping for,” the Doctor replied.

~~~

Fortunately, the Torchwood team took aliens with a gender swap problem in their stride, once they’d giggled at their predicament for a moment, obviously, before giving it some serious thought.

“Were you bitten by anything?” Gwen wondered. “You might have a parasite.”

“We could test your blood,” Jack offered. “Find out if you have toxins or anything extra present.”

Gwen wanted to help too. “I’m sure we could check your ship’s log, or any CCTV footage you have.” 

The Doctor reached out to take Donna’s hand when she visibly paled. “Checking the log might be helpful, but we don’t have any footage.”

Ianto appeared at that moment with a tray laden with beverages, allowing them to avoid explaining why there was no camera evidence. To the Doctor’s delight, there was plenty of cake too. 

“Don’t go spoiling my waistline,” Donna whispered for only him to hear as they sat together. 

He merely pleasantly smiled back. “There’s no way I could ever spoil your body,” he responded, yet she didn’t look convinced in the slightest. 

It was his turn to splutter when Jack asked, “Has the sex been any different since you changed?”

Well, a respiratory bypass certainly had its uses at times, the Doctor frantically noted. But he was certain he’d definitely choke when he heard Donna answer, “No, it’s been _exactly_ the same.”

Several people tried to slap him on the back at the same time. None of which actually helped to dislodge the piece of cake wedged in his throat. “What do you mean ‘the same’?” he huskily demanded. 

But he should have had more faith in Donna, because she enigmatically stated, “Things like that between us haven’t changed at all. Wouldn’t you agree?”

The Doctor had no trouble nodding to that. “Definitely.”

“Care to share?” Jack inevitably asked. 

“Some things should remain private,” Donna carefully told him, knowing that her words would drive him crazy, “and stay in the bedroom.”

“Surely that doesn’t apply to me,” Jack argued. “We’re old friends.” 

“Not with me, you ain't,” she bit back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** my migraines let me stay awake enough today in order to write this and post it to celebrate develish1's birthday. Happy birthday, love!!!

“About that blood sample,” the Doctor quickly proposed to change the subject away from Jack’s curiosity. “Shall we?” The last thing he wanted to do was discuss his personal and intimate life with Jack in public; and Donna seemed very aware of that, bless her.

He smiled in relief when she readily took his hand as Jack led the way to the Hub medical facility.

“No Martha?” she asked on entering the room.

“We’re working on that,” Jack confessed. “Could do with a little help around here.”

“Donna, I need the loo,” the Doctor hastily whispered to her some minutes later.

“How desperate are you?” she quietly asked in return.

“Pretty desperate. Like in really _really_ have to go!” he answered.

“Okay, we’ll deal with this. Don’t worry.” Donna turned to ask Gwen, “Where’s the toilet?”

“It’s down there, second on the right,” Gwen responded, pointing along the corridor. Then she noticed Donna leading the Doctor away. “But you both can’t go in there.”

“Why not? Try stopping us,” Donna bit back, and ignored the look of disgust on Gwen’s face.

“They’ve gone to the toilet together,” Gwen informed Jack some moments later.

“Good. That means we’ll get the urine samples we wanted,” Jack replied. 

“But they are going into the same _toilet_,” she emphasised. 

Jack merely raised his eyebrows in interest. “Could lead to some unanswered questions.”

Shrugging her shoulders, Gwen had to admit to herself that meeting new aliens was never boring, and brought up all sorts of interesting events. 

Fortunately, the toilet facility was almost as large as one a disabled user would expect. Plenty of room for two people to deal with each other without getting trapped inside a cubicle. 

The Doctor was frowning heavily, and Donna was having trouble understanding what the problem was. She had him half hovering over the toilet seat while she held the sample bottle in place. “What’s wrong? I’ve done this loads of times. Just wee like normal and I’ll catch some, then you can sit down and carry on.”

“It isn’t that,” he gritted out through his teeth. “My stomach hits.”

“Hopefully it isn’t an infection,” she said. “We’ll have to get you drinking plenty of water, and some cranberry juice if we can lay our hands on it.”

“That doesn’t help me right this second,” he snapped.

“What is your problem?” she griped back; and had a sudden thought. Standing up to replace the sample bottle lid, she asked, “This might sound daft but are my.. I mean your breasts a bit tender?”

“A bit,” he admitted, bring up his hands to cup them. “Why? Is this some new way to torture me?”

“It might seem that way,” she admitted. “Rattiness, abdominal pain, and tender breasts. All that happens to me when my period is about to start.”

“What,” he gasped. “That is…” He scrunched his face up into a grimace.

“Yeah, it is,” she agreed, and then she noticed the tears in his eyes. “And there’s the feeling down bit. I am so sorry, Doctor. This is going to get messy in a couple of hours. Really messy.”

“There’ll be blood?” he sought to confirm.

“Lots of it,” she agreed. “I’d better go and get some supplies if we’re going to be stuck here for a while. Explains the horniness this morning though, I suppose.”

“You mean all that is normal?” he wondered, partly in fascination. 

“All part of the process. Let me clean you up and then I’ll go to the nearest pharmacy as soon as possible.”

“What about your sample?” he pointed out. 

“Alright, let’s get that done, if you would do the honours, and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Please don’t tell Jack,” he pleaded. “All this is shaming.” 

“I won’t,” she readily promised. “Us women are good at keeping quiet about this.”

The grateful hug from him when they finished was all she wanted.

~~~

With the helpful suggestions from Gwen, Donna soon found a place that sold sanitary items, and was able to buy sufficient stuff for a period newbie like the Doctor. She arrived back in the Hub holding a carrier bag of goods.

“Where have you been?” whined the Doctor, trying to subtly clutch his stomach. 

“Just out,” she nonchalantly replied. But she moved close to whisper, “I got everything you need plus some chocolate treats for later.”

He smiled in relief. “Thanks, Donna.”

“We have your test results, if you’re interested,” Jack called across to them. 

The TARDIS duo quickly followed, keen to find out. 

Jack carefully laid out the papers holding the relevant figures on a desktop. “As you can see, all your vital signs are within normal parameters. The only difference has been in the blood.”

“I’m supposed to be different,” the Doctor commented.

“Does this mean I’m now a vampire?” Donna joked. 

“No,” Jack answered on a laugh. “You are both showing the same blood type.”

“Aw gawd, I’ve become you,” Donna told the Doctor.

“And I’ve become you. What a surprise,” he sarcastically replied. 

“The thing is, we need to reverse that,” Jack tried to continue. “And discover what steps you took before you changed.”

“Reverse our steps,” the Doctor echoed. 

“Isn’t there some dimensional thing you could reverse?” Jack wondered. “Or the polarity?” 

“Or we could just go backwards,” Donna added. 

“You know that could work,” the Doctor slowly reasoned out. “If I could get this old head of mine to think,” he lamented, “we’d soon be fixed.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she sympathised, laying a hand on his arm. “You’re in no fit state to think properly. Get some sleep and you’ll feel loads better.”

“Aren’t you feeling well, Doctor?” Jack wondered in concern.

“Just a spot of…,” he vaguely answered, waving at his head. “Easily fixed.”

“Why don’t I take you home,” Donna suggested. “Have a lie down for a while and we can come back here if we don’t manage to get things back to normal. How does that sound?”

“Splendid!” the Doctor enthused. “Thank you for your team’s help, Jack.”

“Yes, thank you for everything,” Donna told Jack. 

“You’re welcome,” Jack schmoozed. “Come and see your Uncle Jack if resetting the dimensional button doesn’t work. I’m sure we can provide some entertainment.”

Donna snorted her scorn. “I’m sure you could. For yourself. Whether we’d find it entertaining is a different matter entirely.”

“I’ll do my best,” he promised.

One round of brief hugs later, the TARDIS dematerialised from the Hub, leaving Jack bemused about what had just happened. And wondering if he’d ever hear from the Time Lord again.

~~~

“Donna!” the Doctor protested, stringing out the two syllables.

“Stop whinging, will you?!” she huffed; and readied herself to stand back up. “There. Finished. You’re all padded up, every trace of blood has been dealt with, you’ve got clean knickers on, and your pillows are all plumped up. All you’ve got to do now is lie down and take the tablets I bought you earlier.”

“You promise this pain will go away?” he meekly asked.

“Yes. Those ones normally do the trick. You’ll need a hot water bottle too to cuddle against your stomach.” She then did her best to smile brightly. “When you gain a new experience, you certainly go all the way.”

“Sounds very me,” he agreed. “Can you help me walk?”

Sighing, she had to admit to herself that if you had a sudden onslaught of period pain, you would have trouble coping with it. Typical man. Most women just got on with it, because you have to and get mocked by men when you don’t. 

“Come on then. But don’t expect this sort of special treatment all the time,” she declared, taking hold of his arm.

“Aren’t I special to you?” he asked, obviously seeking some consolation. 

“Aw Doctor, you’re special in all sorts of ways,” she deliberately crooned to mock him. 

A cheeky grin broke out on his face. “I knew you loved me.”

“Too true,” she muttered. “Anything else, before I leave you?”

“Well…” He eyed the bed cautiously. “Do you have to leave? You could stay here the night. If you want to.”

He brightened considerably when she replied, “Give me a chance to make sure everything is switched where it should be, and I’ll be back.”

Luckily for him, she was feeling sleepy too. All this body swapping malarkey made you feel tired, even without the stress of dealing with an alien. 

Falling asleep in the same bed hadn’t been part of the plan, but it was cosy, and having someone there made their strange situation feel miles better. 

Her ending up cuddling him wasn’t the deal they’d struck, but it happened anyway; and they slept a healing sleep more solidly as a consequence.


	8. Chapter 8

When she woke up, hours later, their positions had reversed. she was being cuddled by him, with her head upon his chest. 

“Ah, you’re awake,” he noted. “It worked! Retracing our flight path and resetting the dimensional button worked. We’re back to normal.”

“Yay,” she happily yawned. “It’s all a bit hazy, to be honest.”

“Do you remember the bumpy ride we had the day before yesterday?” he began to explain; and waited for her nod of acknowledgement in order to continue. “We hit a pocket in space. A bit like turbulence but in fact it turned out to be a trans-dimensional pocket.”

“Literally,” she needlessly commented. And then the pain kicked in as if to punish her. Ow! “How’s the pain?” she asked, waving a finger at his torso.

“All gone,” he delighted in saying. “Thankfully I’m completely me. What about you?”

“No longer you but me too,” she retorted. “In all its glory.”

Oh. he now understood what that meant. “Sorry,” he contritely offered.

“Thanks.” She shifted a bit to stop her arm going limp beneath him and stretched her body. “Just think. At least we didn’t have sex yesterday when I was possibly ovulating. How embarrassing could that have gone, eh? All sorts of unnecessary stuff.”

“It had been close,” he admitted, speaking into her hair. “The temptation to take things further had been quite strong.” 

All the aroused thoughts he’d had in his head suddenly reappeared, to his dismay, and he sighed loudly. 

Smiling to herself, she felt him squeeze her closer and kiss the top of her head. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” She deliberately glanced at his crotch for a moment. “You might need some alone time.”

It caused his cheeks to immediately flush bright red. “I’m… I’m not…”

Stopping his mood from spiralling downwards, she raised a hand to gently touch his cheek. “I’m teasing you, you prawn,” she reassured him with a fond caress. “Friends who know each intimately well can do that sort of thing.”

“Especially when they are best friends,” he agreed, and took hold of her hand in order to plant a tender kiss on her palm. “The intimacy just adds to it.”

“It doesn’t get more intimate than us,” she added and briefly kissed his jaw. “You need a shave,” she immediately noted.

“And you need to rest, while I get you a fresh hot water bottle,” he insisted.

“It isn’t so bad today,” she said, reluctant to let her Time Lord body pillow disappear. “First days are always worse. Sorry you had to go through that.”

“Sorry you always have to suffer it.”

“Yeah, well,” she dismissed. “Knowing it’s all for nothing doesn’t help either. But I don’t have to worry about periods while I’m in the TARDIS.”

“Normally,” he tacked on in agreement. “About the ‘for nothing’ thing…”

She lifted her head to gauge his reason for bringing the topic up. “What about it?”

“Well…” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck before tugging thoughtfully on his left ear. “Would it be stupid to change that?”

“Are you suggesting I get sterilised?” she wondered.

“No!” he quickly denied. “Instead, I was thinking… if you agree with it… but you might not necessarily want… although you did tell Martha you intend to stay… it could take a long time though…”

She halted his nervous babbling with a well-placed hand over his mouth. “You know, Doctor, that we’d get to my answer a lot quicker if you actually ask me the question. Like, before the end of the century. Or any other century.” She then released her hand.

“Yes. Well. That is very true.” He nodded his agreement with himself. “The question is… well… my proposal is: would you like me to help you become… err….” 

His eyes flashed his inability to actually form the words, so she quirked a disbelieving eyebrow. “Become what? If this is your way of asking me if I want to transform myself into some Beyoncé wannabe tribute act, I won’t be impressed. It’d take months of dieting for a start. Don’t even mention the music lessons I’d have to fork out for. Just spit it out, will you?”

“Donna,” he whined. “I am trying to ask a very serious question and you are going on about things that are totally unrelated.”

“Until you tell me the question, I won’t know what’s relevant. Will I.”

“Okay.” He steeled himself to make his offer. “Since we know each other so well now after this experience, I would like to help you become a mother.”

Stunned, she gawped at him. “A mother? As in, a real live baby mother? Or were you planning on taking me back to…” Oh how she hated mentioning the planet that had caused him in particular so much pain, but she had to know. “…to Messaline’s birthing booths?” she asked in a whisper, shocked she’d even said it.

His eager expression fell. He hadn’t even considered going back there as a possibility; but he was sure Donna understood that, judging by the compassion in her eyes. Forcing a tiny smile, he answered, “As in you being pregnant and me being the donor.”

“Oh Doctor. I don’t know what to say,” she admitted, “this is too much to take in.” And then she threw herself onto him, to hug him tight. “Whatever you do would be perfect.” She then pulled back to amend her statement. “Well, when I say ‘perfect’, I mean it’d be pretty brilliant. You know what I mean.”

Indeed, he did. “So the answer is ‘yes’?”

“Really ‘yes’!” she happily confirmed. “It’s so yes, I want to…” Her words faded away as she lost control of the ability to express herself beyond fisting her hands up like she had before they’d visit the Ood planet. 

“That much, eh?” he teased. “Then we need to plan this carefully for the next time you ovulate. Might mean living away from the TARDIS for a week or two to help your body clock adjust.”

“As long as we don’t go back through that dimension hole thing again, that’s fine with me,” she brightly stated. “Unless you’re planning on staying with my family, of course.”

“Why are you suddenly reluctant to spend the time with your family?”

“Mum,” she succinctly answered. “She would disapprove of us cuddling in bed like this, let alone having a baby together.”

“Ah,” he sighed. He’d hoped things would be a little bit different with this companion’s mother. “I see.”

“But Gramps will be delighted,” she quickly assured him. “Mum will just take a bit of time to get used to the idea. Okay, a heck of a lot of time. It could take months.”

“We could try turning up beforehand with presents,” he suggested. “What sort of things does she like?”

“A married daughter, for starters,” she mumbled. 

“I could say we’re engaged. Would that work?”

“Are you mad?” she scoffed. “You’d be putting yourself in a domestic situation you’d absolutely hate. And with totally the wrong person.”

“Donna,” he murmured, clasping her chin to tilt her face towards him. “As you said, our level of intimacy goes beyond all that. We practically live as man and wife; and have been mistaken for being so many times.”

“Yes, but you’d be living a lie. You don’t want me. Not like that.”

“I cannot think of anyone who would be better as the mother of my child. In fact, I’ve had proof you are wonderful in the role,” he insisted. “We may have had that whipped away before but now we have a second chance to be parents. And I’d like that, with my best friend to share it with.”

“Smooth talker,” she disparaged, eager to avoid the sentimentality of the situation. “Alright, I’ll give it a go.”

“Donna Noble, you are brilliant!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll remind you of that when I’m up the duff and grumbling about every mortal thing.” She then thought to add, “You’d better be there at the birth.”

“Try stopping me,” he promised, hugging her close again. “It’ll be amazing. Just you wait and see.”

“What’s the plan, Spaceman?”

“Ooh, you rhymed. You’re a poet and you didn’t know it,” he enthused.

“Less of the blarney and more of the information, thank you very much.”

“That period testiness is showing through again,” he noted to himself. “Anyway. We will wait for the symptoms to go away and then we’ll go visit an exotic market. Have ourselves some fun buying gifts for your family before spending a length of time with them on Earth.”

“Shopping. You are actually suggesting we go shopping. Now I know you are serious about this,” she commented. “Where were you thinking of going?”

“Ah ah ah, that’ll be my little surprise,” he enticed her, pulling away to leave the bed. “I’ll do us some breakfast; get you settled with some medication and have a think while I do all that. If you’re lucky I’ll take you some really special.”

“How special?” she wondered.

“Erm,” he considered. “I’m thinking possibly Shan Shen.”

“No idea where that is, but bring it on,” she eagerly replied. 

Settling back into her pillow, all she could think about was what a sweetheart the Doctor was; and the happy prospect of a future family with her best friend in the whole wide universe.

~~o~~


End file.
